i've got a broken face

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.  (johnny :o()	× I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	✓ I love to play video games.	✓ I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

( it goes on... )

shitty fridays suuhhh uuuhhhhck

Pet Obituary:

Jack Bear Roche Garland (nee Stray)
Age: Less than a year I think
Why: possible rat poison, accidental consumption, possibly purpose to kill the cats in neighborhood.

Our family's er skills all week obviously didn't help. 180 ccs of fluids could not kick start jack's kidneys, or my sister asphyxiated him. who knows

he will be added to our huge ass pet cemetary, probably as big as that one in brooklyn.

The wake is being held in our kitchen today and tomorrow. Funeral is hopefully soon.

i finally finished doing stuff i've been putting off forever, therefore allowing me to be psychologically ready to clean.

haha.

anyway, does anyone have any old mirrors in their houses, maybe in your attics, etc?

preferably ones with frames, big ones, small ones, doesnt matter.

i am searching for mirrors...

i am partially banning jeans from my wardrobe diet. these goddamn lowrise jeans inflame my butt crack problem and dont hide my pizza dough belly.

unless i find some nicer jeans, for now, i hate you jeans.

black sweatpants are my new thing. but, don't fret, you will never see me wearing a matching sweatsuit outfit. i will never let myself go that far...

i just need a wider variety of hoodies.

don't you love when i update?

aaannddd i have the best new shoes everrr

but i'm not satisfied. i need more more more

just letting all you fans out there know,

tomorrow is my celia-mom's birthday!

i never give new years resolutions because i know i'll never follow them. this year i want to because maybe i will



i truly want to save up, especially since i should have money in the bank due to my job. that way i will be able to travel to all the places i have on my list. californa, backpack thru europe, vegas, (vegas probably before europe), georgia, boston, australia, i'm sure the order could be rearranged.

i want to be a more organized person. i'm like the absent-minded professor. i forget where i'm going while on the way there. i need to organize.

i want to stop judging people so easily. i know where i learned this from and i have taken up efforts to stop this past year. i want to stop writing people off the second i meet them. its my way of cutting myself off from everyone. i don't experience and i avoid making connections with other people.

and to follow through. with everything i say i want to do. with school, with whatever projects, with everything.

aaannddd i'm starving. so i'm probably gonna go eat now.

every year when the ball drops i start to tear up. its so magical yet so ridiculous since time is time and it is us that creates this "new year".
but maybe i'll take part in resolutions.

i resolute to stop being so darn smelly

i had fun this christmas. i chose to say no to spending christmas day with my roche family finally. the first christmas day i spent at home. i got nintendo ds!! so did chelsea so me, celia, and her played with our ds's drawing dirty pictures in the pictochat room.

and we yelled and screamed and fought as usual.

[1] NAME: melissa
[2] BIRTHDAY: may 5th
[4] MIDDLE NAME: leigh
[5] EYE COLOR: hazel
[6] HAIR COLOR: dark blonde
[7] DONE DRUGS: none
[8] BEEN ON STAGE: yea!
what happened to 9?
[10] BEEN DUMPED: i think
[11] GOTTEN INTO A CAR ACCIDENT: yea
[12] EATEN AN ENTIRE BOX OF SWEETS: oh god, don't you know me?
[13] DYED YOUR HAIR: yea! purple, pink, and eventually many different shades of blondes.
[14] CHOKED IN FRONT OF SOMEONE?: i used to choke on spaghetti and mozzarell cheese
[15] WENT TO SCHOOL IN YOUR PJ'S: i can't leave the house in pjs unlike my family
[16] GOTTEN DETENTION: yeaa
[17] THE LAST 2 DIGITS IN YOUR PHONE NUMBER: 09
[18] DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: a little
[19] DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?: i think?
[20] WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: being funny
[21] FAVORITE MONTH: may and september
[22] COLD / HOT: cold water, hot tea
[23] BLACK / WHITE: black
[24] RAIN / SNOW: Rain
[25] GIVE / RECEIVE: receive
[26] WOOL / COTTON: Cotton
[27] ROSE / DAISY: roses smell like doodoo
[28] PRIVATE / PUBLIC SCHOOL: public
[29] PLAIN / CHOCOLATE MILK: gross me green
[30] HISTORY / SCIENCE: history
[31] MATH / ENGLISH: english
[32] SPRING / FALL: fall
[33] ROCK / COUNTRY: rock
[34] PEPSI / COKE: diet coke
[35] LOVE / LUST: i don't believe in love. LUST
[36] EAT / SLEEP: oh my god both. i'm just like garfield
--------------------------------FRIENDS-------------------------------------

[37] WHO DO YOU SEE THE MOST? heather and john when he's home
[38] WHO DO YOU WISH TO SEE MORE OFTEN: johnny when he's at school, and my maryland friends :o**(
[39] WHO DO YOU E-MAIL THE MOST: my aunt i think
[40] WHO'S THE LOUDEST: john
[41] WHO'S THE SHYEST: john
[42] WHO ARE YOU JEALOUS OF: mary the hottie
[43] WHO HAS THE BEST ROOM: mary
[44] WHO'S THE HORNIEST: me
[45] WHO DO YOU TRUST THE MOST: johnny
[46] WHO KNOWS YOU THE BEST: johnny
[47] WHO'S YOUR BEST FRIEND(s): johnny and celia
[48] WHO DO YOU HAVE SERIOUS TALKS WITH: celia
[49] WHO GETS ALONG W/ YOUR PARENTS: johnny haha
[50] WHO HUGS YOU THE MOST: my kiddies
[51] WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST: my friends below the mason dixon line
[52] FOUGHT W/ YOU THE MOST: hahahah
[54] FAVORITE FRIENDS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: john, philly, etc
[55] WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO BECOME A MODEL: ME
[56] HAVE KNOWN YOU THE LONGEST: john
[57]WHO DO YOU KNOW MOST ABOUT? john, god

----------------------DO YOU LIKE TO:---------------------------------------

[58] GIVE HUGS: yea, i like when people are comfy when i give hugs to them
[59] GIVE BACK RUBS: yea i'm the best massuse and chiropracter
[60] TAKE WALKS IN THE RAIN: my hair gets messed up and i HATE that
[61] WATCH TV?: ALL day
[62] GO TO THE BEACH: I LOVE the beach
[63] DO HOMEWORK: never ever ever
[64] PLAY IN THE SNOW: sledding!!
[65] PLAY IN THE MUD: during soccer
[66] TALK ON THE PHONE: i like it sometimes
[67] STAY UP ALL NIGHT TALKIN TO A FRIEND: not in a while
[69] BE LOVED?: i love to be loved
[70] DO WEIRD / FREAKY THINGS: the last two nights i've had the weirdest sexually dreams ever
[71] READ: all the time!

-----------------------HAVE YOU EVER:----------------------------------

[72] BEEN TO A CONCERT: no, never
[73] BEEN OUT OF STATE: duh
[74] GONE SKINNY DIPPING?: not yet unfortunately
[75] RAN ROUND NAKED: now that i live alone, all the time
[76] BROKEN A BONE: yea a bunch
[77] CHEATED ON A TEST: not since hs
[78] RAN A MARATHON: no
[79] MET A FAMOUS PERSON: i think, maybe
[80] BOUGHT SOMETHING AND SOLD IT: cds
[81] STOLE FROM SOMEWHERE: haha yea, way before everyone else did!!
[82] STALKED SOMEONE: online, hell yea
[83] GOTTEN STITCHES: never
[84] IF YOU FOUND $1,000, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?: give it to someone who needs it really
[85] EVER HAD ONE NIGHT STAND: only if they arouse me
[86] WHO LIKES YOU: my kiddies and my cats
[87] LAST PERSON YOU HAD SEX WITH: none

------------------------EXTRA EXTRA:---------------------------------------

[88] BAD HABITS: i'm a slob
[89] MAKES YOU MAD: people, when people litter, war
[90] SCARIEST DREAM: my terrorist dreams
[91] WHERE ARE YOU: in my living room of the westerleigh house
[92] ARE YOU WEARIN ANY JEWELERY?: yeaaa
[93] WHAT KIND?: my two new bracelets and my santa necklace and bracelet i got from cvs yesterday
[94] WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR PANTS: blue
[95] WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: my stupid family
[96] LAST THING YOU SAID: i'm not listening to you two anymore
[97] COMPUTER DESK IS MADE OF: wood
[98] LAST THING YOU ATE: pasta
[99] WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANNA DO RIGHT NOW: hahaha you knoooww ;o)
[100] WHAT COLOR CRAYON WOULD YOU WANNA BE?: cerelan blue

{x} broke a promise
{} made a new best friend
{} fallen in love
{ } fallen out of love
{x} done something you swore never to do
{x} lied
{ } stole
{} went behind your parents back
{} cried over a broken heart
{} dissappointed someone close
{} hidden a secret
{x} pretended to be happy
{ } got arrested
{} kissed in the rain
{} slept under the stars
{} kept your new years resolution
{x} forgot your new years resolution
{} met someone who changed your life
{ } met one of your idols
{xxxx} changed your outlook on life
{xxx} sat home all day doing nothing
(x} pretended to be sick
{} left the country
{ } almost died
{x} given up something/someone important to you
{ } lost something expensive
{x} learned something new about yourself
{x} tried something you normaly wouldnt try and liked it
{x} made a change in your life
{x} found out who your true friends were.
{x} made a total fool of yourself
{x} met great people.

i used to feel like a wreck all the time and now i feel a lot better. even more better than i thought i could become. i'm content with myself for a while. i really need to start feeling sexy though. i'm way too cautious for my own good. it leads to a boring sex life.

john's finally home so you know what that means. i have to clean with him...
i think my place is truly at its worst. since i chipped in to buy curtains that people can't see through, i stopped worrying so much. sometimes i imagine myself leaving my apt and a note being taped to my door saying, "clean it up you slob!" but i know it won't happen.. yet!

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
to see how my eyes look. eye boogers? smeared eyeliner?

2. How much cash do you have on you?
like 10 bucks.

3. What's a word that rhymes with your name?
melissa? the fish-a? whenever i hear someone say "this" or other words it always sounds like my name

4. Favorite flower?
lillies

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed/received call list on your cell phone?
i'm not gonna check

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?
the middle by jew

7. What shirt are you wearing?
this tan shirt

8. Do you "label" yourself?
i usually take the tags off

9.Name the brand of shoes you are wearing
bare feet

10. Bright or Dark Room?
dim

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
she's pretty crazy

12. Ever "spilled the beans"?
about unimportant secrets i'll go around telling all my "trusted" friends. but real secrets -i'm a bottomless pit

13. What were you doing at 2 this morning?
dreaming weird dreams

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
probably something from john

15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?
only accidentally

16. What's a saying that you say a lot?
i'm tired

17. Who told you they loved you last?
mommy

19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days?
i've taken doryx, zoloft, and vitamin c tablets

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
lots from a couple years ago

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
17

22. Your worst enemy?
stupid people

23 What is your current desktop picture?
75 bands

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
alright, whatever hang up to my mom

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?
i don't have any major regrets yet thank god

26. Do you love / like someone?
to make out with maybe

i finally got my peanut butter bumpers back. stop and shop stopped having them for some horrid reason so i had to go all the way to pathmark tonite to get them.

mmm they are happily crunching away inside my mouth.

and in other news i finally picked up my comforter from the cleaners after dropping it off a couple days before thanksgiving. and to reward me, they gave me a little families 2006 calendar.

as you can see my life is full of excitement and new adventures

i don't know if i ever tried eating paste, but i know i love the smell and in my head it really tastes good.

Remember my missing cat pickle that we never found?

well yesterday my mom told me that our neighbor's cat (my other cat oreo's best bud) has been disappearing a lot. They put a collar on him with their phone number and then he disaappeared for a while. my mom and the neighbors were looking around the hood for him and then they got a phone call from some lady who said she had the cat. she was like "swear on a stack of bibles that you will stop abusing the cat and i'll give him back". ummm, he was not being abused at all and there is no way you could come to that conclusion. sounds like the lady is a kook. and she lives down on lathrop near crystal ave i think.

so my neighbors called the cops yesterday and we are waiting to find out what happens. i don't know if they have a warrant or anything yet.. well now we are thinking maybe she took pickle too.... pickle was extremely friendly and would go up to anyone so it would be very easy to take her. and she didn't have a collar. it is really really weird to think that maybe this lady has my fucking cat. i would be so mad. i still miss pickle and we never got closure to her missing-ness. sooooooo..... i had to let it all out on here.

fuckin wackos

i have a new ringtone(s). i now have the middle as my official ringtone and when i'm feeling nostalgic, iris by the goo goo dolls.

its always good to have money again. i make a lot of money and i'm still always broke. i guess because all the work that was done in my bathroom.. but i was supposed to be like rich due to the summer pay... ohh money.

so today is the first day of snow. i can't believe its so late into the season for snow. the postal service song is totally right. we will be swimming in november thinking its because we did something good. i don't feel like recalling the actual lyric.

today we were supposed to go to olive garden because my grandmother is home from florida. i'm so upset we didn't go. whenever it was a birthday or graduation years ago, we would always go to olive garden. mostly because we could never find red lobster and always ended up at the olive. stupid jersey.

but now i can wear my cute pink boots. they are i forget. but cute and not animaly.

i think two years ago, or maybe last winter when we had a blizzard and i had no food, so i trekked through the snow at like 11 at night to pathmark to buy popcorn. that was the best night ever. its times like this that make me loooovvee where i live. i'm on the first floor so i open my curtains and see snow. the thin veil of trees that block the school next door look thicker with all the white, helping me pretend i'm all alone. my mom would always ask if i wanted to move back in, feeling guilty that she pushed me out of the house after i transferred back home. i would laugh because she thought i missed living there. yea, sure. if we renovated the westerleigh house and put in heat and insulation i would like it. wait no, chelsea resides there so i will never move back in. god, i hated that my mother's baby daddy has always been too fucking cheap to get real heat things instead of the shitty radiators that didn't work. now i can dance around my apt warm and free. with heat galore! wooo.

the real reason i'm typing in here is because i am avoiding doing a small paper that was due the day before thanksgiving. i'm so bad at school

when i was young and weirder, i used to love to hide from my family. during hide and seek i found a great hiding spot, our hamper. it was a typical rectangular whatever thing. so i would get into the hamper and sit there giggling as i heard everyone go about their business and once in a while go, "where's melissa?" they never found out where i was hiding, i never got out when people were around.

1. What was the first car your family had?:
the first car my mother had with me was a mitsubishi eclipse. it was awesome

2. What was the name of your first pet and why?:
muffin! who knows. he was my bud

3. How did your first pet die?
he got bit on his arm and it got infected with maggots. we had to put him to sleep

4. What was the name of your elementary school?
ps 69, then ps 30 for a year, then finally blessed sacrament

5. Who was your first best friend?
this girl ingrid who i met on the bus line in kindergarten

6. Are you still friends today, and if not, what happened?
no but she's my myspace friend and i commented saying remember me, and she didn't comment back so maybe she doesn't remember me

7. What was your favorite board game?
monopoly!

8. Did you play house or other make believe games?
all the time, i was a very imaginative child

9. Were you a Dungeons and Dragons geek?
no

10. Did you sleep with stuffed animals as a kid?
yea!

11. Do you still sleep with stuffed animals?:
yea, my teddy. but usually he's on the floor or tangled in my sheets

12. Who was the first person you looked up to when you were younger?
my sister's father. i thought he was so cool

13. Who was your favorite relative?
my uncle

14. Were you short or tall in elementary school?:
tall

15. Were you teased in school?
of course! i was completely oblivious to social cool-ness. i didn't care at all

16. What was the name of your favorite teacher?
mr. rivera. and then i would work with him when i subbed at ps 30, but i never told him he was once my student.

18. What was your best subject in school?
english

19. What was your worst subject in school?
chemistry

20. Did you do well in Physical Education?
hell yea, i was always the girl that was as good as the boys

21. Were you clumsy when you were younger?
yea, and i still am

22. Who was your favorite band as a kid?
the beatles

23. What was your favorite movie as a kid?
i don't remember when it came out, but i LOVED harriet the spy. and totoro.

24. Did your parents read to you?:
my mom probably did. i was reading the newspaper at 7

25. Did you have a favorite book?
goosebumps! soooooooo cool and scary

26. What was your favorite restaurant as a kid?
the pizza hut restaurant in new dorp. that was probably pizza hut at its best quality

27. On what TV or movie star did you have a crush?:
hahahah, OH MY GOD. emilio estevez, i thought he was soooooooooooo cute.

28. Do you now wonder what you were thinking?
yea, every one of my tv crushes i think are ugly now. emilio, mulder, some guy from baywatch

29. Who was your first crush in school?
i don't even remember having crushes when i was younger

30. As a child, what kind of car did you want when you grew up?
my mom's mitsubishi

31. Did your parents spank you?
never

32. Did your parents fight a lot when you were a kid?
in my adolescence.

33. Did your parents get divorced or stay married?
divorced and broke up

34. If they got divorced, how old were you when it happened?
divorce, i was 3 or 4. seperation when i was in 7th grade

35. Did you ever run away from home?
yea, i would go take the bus to my grandmothers

36. How old were you when/if you first got glasses?
3rd grade. they were the coolest. these plastic pink and blue rainbow glasses. i had always wanted glasses and then i finally had them. and boy i broke every pair.

37. Did you need braces or a retainer?:
yea my teeth were so bad. retainer for a couple years, then braces

38. Both sexes; When did you start shaving?
like 7th grade sporadically

39. Girls; When did you start wearing a bra?
probably 7th or 8th grade.


40. What was your first kiss like?
silly

41. What did you do on your first date?
i actually never went on a date

42. How old were you when you first drank?
freshman

43. How old were you when you first tried drugs?
sophomore

44. Where was your first house?
hah i live in it now.

i love watching movies and wishing i could be white trash for a day.
ever get cravings for stuff you normally don't like? i used to hate salt andd vinegar chips and then i would crave them. now its common knowledge that i love to eat them becaue i hate them so much.

i told john before but i want to sit outside in plastic lawn chairs drinkin beers with afghans over our knees. it would be best to be sitting in front of a trailer or even a shitty car.
i wanna wear torn jeans and a stained white tshirt today. make my hair greasy and wavy yet look good. (how do they do it!?)

and i want to stop feeling so fat. i feel like a football player next to people. my mind might exaggerate that a bit since i know i'm not like huge, but i still feel huge. ugh. clothing, start being good.


i'm so so so afraid to feel that i make huge distances before i can even attempt to feel. i'm so afraid of people and feelings of love. i hate how people love their daddys. that feeling is so foreign to me. my father was in lousiana for like a month and my brother and sister missed him desperately. it didn't even phase me since i don't live iwth him, but i realized i never knew that feeling. weird. i think its so weird to have a dad. yea, i have one, but like a real dad. one you actually like. i think thats why i have this inability to like anyone with a penis. and when i do i turn it into revulsion before i can let it touch me the feeling, not the penis.

and my shower's still broken.

i've been so nauseous all week. still ammm. damn kids.

the deodorant is out. i repeat, the deodorant is out. they had to take the bowl off and get it out. it was right near the bottom too, right before the trap. yea that's right, i know my toilet lingo. i now know it inside andd out. and now they are replacing my valve that way i can have a nice normal refill flush. my place is becoming pretty upscale. you guys will start finding that you are on the guest list. ohhhhhh snap!

i'm gonna buy a gold toilet for my ass only. no one else's. not even future kids.

alright so i got my chinese lanterns up, and now i know how to do that on my own. next, is a little rack to hold my bathroom stuff and have it mounted onto the wall.. and fix the sheetrock in the bathroom, umm... i think thats it...

oh boy i can't wait to go to the bathroom when they leave. the mall police were starting to catch on to me anyways. following me around shee, im sogay im o gay~!!

phillys over..

and the rusty old vavles snapped.......
when you need to flush, fill up the bucket, pour it in and watch it go down...

men are so rough and just want to shove things in holes and keep pushing till it goes in. i, on the other hand, wanted to push it through slow and steady, waiting until i got in the right positions before going further.

we may be replacing my toilet since the refill thing takes hours and we can't fix it. or he can't. i probably would have done it fine.

for now, if you see me walking through the mall at a quick pace, santizing wipes (for the seat) and a magazine in hand, you know where i'm going. get out of my way.